Happy FATHERs Day…what is in a name?

Depending on the version of the bible you read FATHER is mentioned about 950+ times. Have you ever wondered why it is used so many times? What is truly in the name FATHER? As we all celebrated Father’s Day last Sunday I thought it fitting to write on that very subject. You see, I was the bad example and not deserving of the wife I have until I learned five core responsibilities that I will blog about. You have to open your mind to the truth and be willing to obey. The Father’s role is not an easy one by any means. So here we go…the five responsibilities.

First, he is a leader. Nowhere is it plainer than in the qualifications to be an overseer. 1 Timothy 1:2-5; Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect. (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?). Unfortunately, in today’s world, the father thinks he is the leader of the house, and mom may even let him believe it. In reality, she manages nearly everything! Father’s don’t even know what’s going on and sadly some don’t even care or even enjoy the arrangement. Let me wipe my hands of my responsibilities so I can enjoy ESPN, etc they say. The wife decides what the kids will and will not do. She is the disciplinarian. She checks all the homework, does the teacher conferences etc. Where is the Father? Is he the yelling figure in the background? Nice presence to have huh?  Fathers leading means providing for the family with food, clothing, shelter, medical care, instruction, discussions about the bible, worship and encouraging church involvement. I am in no way saying a Father should lead as a dictator, iron hand, making every decision and doing everything himself. He recognizes his wife’s abilities and encourages her to develop them and use them.

Second, he is a Spiritual leader. Far too often Father’s just don’t care about the spiritual things or are too scared to start and the mother takes the lead, leaving the kids with the impression that involvement in church is for the woman to do. Drop the PRIDE, stand up and become the spiritual leader of your home. Father’s should be in PRAYER over all their decisions.

Third, he is a good lover. He must love his wife with an unselfish, forgiving love, a love that transcends all love except for God himself. That means that after God your wife comes first in your life--before you, before your boss, before your friends, before your brother’s in Christ, even before your children. And those very children will be the beneficiaries of your faithfulness. Your love for their mom, openly expressed, will give them a sense of satisfaction and security that nothing else in this world can provide. So, Father’s, take your wife out for dinner periodically. Bring her something that says “I love you.” Spend time talking about the things that are burdening her. Be sensitive to her needs and live to meet those needs. If she’s had a frustrating day, cheerfully encourage her. Don’t mock her or argue in your kid’s presence.

Fourth, he is a disciplinarian. Fathers who rule by force and fear will produce angry rebellious or worse a child that feels unworthy and completely rejected. Good discipline begins with self-discipline, not with a loud mouth or a lot of muscle. Offering spirit-directed discipline is the way.

Fifth, he is a companion. I am not saying a PAL. Fathers have made fools of themselves palling around with their kids and trying to do everything they do, often to the embarrassment of the younger children. By companion I mean comrade, confidant, and friend.

A boy particularly needs to know his Father. His Father represents the man he will become--the husband he will be to his wife, the father he will be to his children, the provider he will be for his family, the leader he will be in his church. He needs an example to follow, a model to identify with, and a Father he can be proud of. Sons will repeat patterns set by their Fathers. That’s a scary thought, isn’t it?

Daughters too need to know their Fathers. A girl learns from her Father what men are like. He represents the husband she will one day marry, the Father of her children. So, become the kind of husband you want your daughter to marry. If Fathers deprive their daughter’s companionship, the resentment she feels will be transferred to other men.

So those are my five core responsibilities...

Lastly, let me name off a few of the greatest Father’s in the bible (My opinion of course):

Noah
Abraham

Isaac

Jacob

Saul

David

Job

Did I get your curiosity up…do some simple research on each of these Fathers, yes you will find faults but in history they are the biggest names of our time.

So Father’s I hope you enjoyed your day! Remember what a FATHER truly is.

The choice is yours!