Finding Your Best Friend…..

Everyone wants to meet and make the right choice when choosing a spouse. When we are young we dream of that special someone, heck in middle school you think WOW this is her or him. But, the reality is if you don’t find that someone your marriage could be a real mess, but if you do…well consider it a blessing, you have found who your BEST FRIEND should be.

When couples first get married it seems like it will last a lifetime. You are totally committed, fully in love. Unfortunately, for 50% of all couples the happiness turns into sadness. What happened? In the beginning you easily overlooked each other’s faults…the GRASS was so GREEN. Now, the grass is getting brown and the ends are shriveling up. Couples begin to encounter the difficulties of this world. They have trouble paying bills, one loses a job, another develops likes and want’s they didn’t previously. People change individually over time. The commitment to stay together starts to diminish, unconditional love for one another starts to slide.

So how do you continue to build a strong marriage through these challenges….make your spouse you’re BEST FRIEND!!

Your spouse has been your partner and lover, but have they been your best friend? For those that have been married for any length of time, you know that marriage is hard work and sometimes harder than your day to day job. When you invest in your marriage you can build a deep friendship. When your spouse is your best friend I guarantee you will be happier and more satisfied with life. Best friends are faithful, trustworthy, understanding, loving, accepting, respectful, and supportive. They will work through the conflicts and pressures that this world has such an easy time creating.

Husbands, your wife needs to know she is loved. Unfortunately, there are aspects of love that husband’s completely overlook. Women need attention, feel important, knowing their opinion matters, romance and affection. I know what some guys are thinking: "Romance and sex; I'll meet that need." If that is your thinking, you're freakin clueless!

Remember that a wives opinion of romance and affection is much more than sex. It's how we treat her throughout the day. It's saying words like, "I love you" and "I am thinking of you." It's stopping and listening. It's remembering special days like anniversaries (even ones before you were married), birthdays, Mother’s Day and Valentine's Day. God's word says, "Husbands, love your wives."

Lastly, make God FIRST in your lives. Seek God's will through PRAYER and be willing to follow HIS lead in one of life's biggest decisions…finding and staying with your BEST FRIEND!

The choice is yours.

Gifts.....

Gifts...when you hear that word what is the first thing that comes to mind? Christmas? A birthday? Graduation? What if I was to tell you that the majority of Americans today classify themselves by the material things they have acquired from this world. True? When we ask ourselves what gifts (not material things) have we been given we conclude a lot of times that we have none. Sad isn’t it? We think if we have things like stature, intelligence, an excellent GPA, money, lucrative positions or beautiful external appearances that we have been given a “gift”.

Would it surprise you to know that you have a gift hiding right inside of you, yes as you read this blog there is a gift waiting. You might go an entire lifetime and not even realize that you have a gift. God has given each of us one or more gifts and placed it in you to complete the work he has assigned to you. God knows the fullness of the gifts, and how these intended gifts are to be expressed in a particular time and place to fulfill his greater will, plan, and purpose. He knows exactly what he has designated for you to be and do in a precise number of years and in specific locations, working with and through certain people for the accomplishment of particular tasks and purposes.

Just think you may have been given the gift of listening, asking questions, hearing, being agreeable, looking to God for all your guidance, discipleship, caring for others, loving others before yourself or even a prayer warrior. These are all inspiring gifts that help others as they go through this thing we call ”life” and ironically they have nothing to do with material things or outside appearances. Our job is to discover what that gift is and bring it to the surface, develop it and use it as God would want.

Today might just be the day you need to kneel and PRAY asking God to bring the gift he has given you to the surface. When you submit to him, you might just hear a small voice telling you the answer or the feeling of guidance in a certain direction. Sometimes God needs you to go to a mirror and reflect on what you are seeing…not the EXTERNAL but the INTERNAL. Stay planted and be ready as the answer may not be what you were expecting. God can be comical sometimes!
Let me close with this, the gift hidden in you right now is ready to bubble to the surface so desperately….it might be time to allow the eruption to happen and have that gift pour right out and show its Face! Think of the POTENTIAL generations of people you could affect…now that is a gift that keeps on giving….

The choice is yours.

Book Reviews for 6, 7 and 8...

If you have kept up with my running goals this year, I added a book reading goal as well, 12 books in 2012. To date 8 books are complete (I blogged about the first 5 earlier this year…check them out). So let me provide my overview and thoughts on books 6, 7 and 8. I started book 9 this morning…it is a book I was given from my military mentor.

The Case for Christ, by Lee Strobel
Lee Strobel takes you through a journey of investigations into the truth of Jesus Christ. He interviews thirteen well respected scholars from different specialties. His investigations spanned six hundred days and many hours. If you have ever asked yourself the following questions, this book will provide convincing proof, but FAITH is what it truly comes down to…Your relationship between the Father and YOU.

1. Can the biographies of Jesus be trusted?
2. Do the biographies of Jesus stand up to scrutiny?
3. Were Jesus’ biographies reliably preserved for us?
4. Is there credible evidence for Jesus outside his biographies?
5. Does archaeology confirm or contradict Jesus’ biographies?
6. Is the Jesus of history the same as the Jesus of faith?
7. Was Jesus really convinced that he was the Son of God?
8. Was Jesus crazy when he claimed to be the Son of God?
9. Did Jesus fulfill the attributes of God?
10. Did Jesus and Jesus alone match the identity of the Messiah?
11. Was Jesus’ death a sham and his resurrection a hoax?
12. Was Jesus’ body really absent from his tomb?
13. Was Jesus seen alive after his death on the cross?
14. Are there any supporting facts that point to the resurrection?

Radical, by David Platt
WOW!! One of the best books I have read on defining our purpose in this world. David is going to take you through his thoughts being a young mega church pastor. Then he will show you that discipleship is a responsibility and core ask from our Father. This goes for Men and Women. Throughout my reading, I have sent tidbits of this book to my 20 men I stay in touch with from Oklahoma, Virginia and here in DC. At the end of the book David challenges you to a 1 year experiment to (1) Pray for the entire world. (2) Read through the entire Word. (3) Sacrifice money for a specific purpose. (4) Spend time in another context. (5) Commit your life to a multiplying community. Big experiment but one that is truthfully life changing. This book will have you thinking about what you are truly doing each day…productive or wasting time?!

The Last Emperor of Ethiopia, by Ryszard Kapuscinski
As I prepare to go on my first Mission Trip to Ethiopia in August 2012, we were all asked to read up on the history and religious beliefs of Ethiopia. One of the men I am going with suggested this book. It captures the life of the last Emperor of Ethiopia, Haile Selassie. Haile reigned Ethiopia from 1930 until he was overthrown by the Army in 1974. This book takes you through the travels of a Poland foreign correspondent as he traveled throughout Ethiopia to seek out and interview Selassie’s servants and closest associates on how the Emperor had ruled and why he fell to the Army.

Well those are the reviews, each one with a unique perspective. I am now 4 books away from reaching my goal in 2012…I am thinking I will be surpassing that goal by a few.

Texting…impacting or time waster?

Texting has become such a huge part of our everyday life hasn’t it? Before technology advances you would have to write a letter on a piece of paper with a No.2 pencil. Then you put the letter in the mail and wait and wait and wait for a response, which in some cases never came. Today, it is instant. No waiting (Well unless your service is down), the person you messaged gets it at that same moment. What a wonderful invention…texting. Or is it?

Are we using texting for impacting others or just wasting our life away with non-impacting nonsense? According to many researchers and fact finding companies the total number of text messages sent globally tripled between 2007 and 2010, from an estimated 1.8 trillion to a staggering 6.1 trillion. In other words, close to 200,000 text messages are sent every second. The estimates for 2011 were 7 trillion messages. Young adults today between the age of 18 to 24 average 109 messages a day…yep that is a day!

So out of those trillion messages how many were really needed? How many of those made an impact on someone’s life?

This posting is rather short, but I want you to really think about how you use texting in your life and others. Are you using it to impact others or just wasting time?

The Choice is your’s…

TIME…when you hear that word what is the first thing that comes to mind.

TIME…when you hear that word what is the first thing that comes to mind. Need to look at your Iphone or watch on your wrist? Having thoughts of Time’s Square, TIME magazine or what time your favorite TV show(s) on? The list goes on. So what is time really? Are we so structured that time spent on meaningless things is taking complete control of our lives?

I think we need to go back to basics on TIME and reevaluate what our time SHOULD be consumed with. Let me give you a couple to consider.

NOW Time: This time is ever changing; it constantly refreshes itself like websites. We can get so caught up in this Time that nothing else seems to matter. We forget about the time from the past or the future. What is the now time going to affect; anything or everything? What if a friend needs you NOW…do you have the time?

Being “Rich” Time: People today spend so much of their time working to make more money so they can buy “Material” things. In Luke 12:15, Jesus said, "Watch out and guard yourself from all types of greed, because one’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions."

Wasted Time: Oh yes! We have so much of this don’t we. Waiting at a doctor’s office for an appointment, stuck in traffic (Boy do I know this one being in DC…up to 3 hours a day sometimes), social events, surfing the internet. Think for a minute how much time you waste every day, you will be amazed.

Relationship Time: This is a big one and one that many of us miss…time for relationships. In today’s world it is so easy to have a shallow relationship with a friend or spouse (Believe me I have seen spouses that are shallow). We can ask the simple EASY stuff like their name, age, where they live, job, hobbies, but that isn’t REALLY knowing them. Time spent with someone is how you really get to know him or her…the TRUE person. You will know the REAL events happening in their lives. Face it we live in a world that is all about the “Fast”…fast food, fast cars, fast internet, fast running times (sorry had to add that with my hobby). We need to realize that we can’t have a “Fast” relationship with someone. Investment in others takes time.

Presence with Our Children Time: Our children consider our presence as a sign that we actually care about what they are doing. This does not mean your presence is busy on an Iphone, TEXTING (Hmmm), laptop or TV. Presence is focusing on their everyday lives, sitting down playing a game, school events, their hobbies, talking specifically about their day and providing feedback. Be genuine, this is the next GENERATION. Time goes quickly and they will soon be grown adults…blink…there just went a second you can’t get back.

Talking About Faith Time: Spiritual discussions don’t always come easy. These discussions will build strong relationships, not only with friends but with family. We all have anxiety about starting these conversations, but they can be simple, short and impromptu. It doesn’t have to be lengthy and certainly not forced. The foundation of Spiritual Leadership is talking about faith.

Bible Time: This is the most important book ever written. This one book has literally changed the world in which we live in today. With an open mind and heart READ it, you will continue turning the pages. Don’t read this book the same as you do other books though…you will miss so many hidden messages for your growth. I recommend starting in the Book of John, read it carefully and slow. It is amazing what you will learn about God and yourself. It is a game changer!

PRAYER Time: I have left the most significant time you can spend for last. Prayer gets you connected with God in ways you would never imagine. One-on-one prayer with him is never judged or silly. He listens to your every word and thought. This is your time to ask for strength, guidance, love, wisdom and to lift up others who are struggling or have specific requests. At some point, storms will come to everyone and prayer will get you through.

So what is important to you? What do you want your time to be consumed with? The things that really don’t matter or the things that will make an impact, change or love someone? Future GENERATIONS are depending on us to keep what is important IMPORTANT.

The choice is yours…..

Blind to Spot……

As we go through life are our relationships with others shortsighted? Are we only seeing what we want to see and not all that we should see? Have we become so judgmental and critical of others before stopping for a minute to look at ourselves? Are we so Blind to Spot?

When you first get into a vehicle one of the first things you think of is watching out for your Blind Spot. These are areas that you can’t see in your rear-view mirror. We have to turn our bodies either left or right to see if it is safe to make that turn or move into the other lane. So let’s take this example and use it in our own lives. At times we have things so close that they can’t be seen even with a rear-view mirror: arrogance, self-center, MY way of doing things or the classic “I am right you are wrong”. These are things that others recognize but we are Blind to Spot ourselves. You have probably run into someone like this, they tend to talk too much about whom else “themselves”. They live their lives in denial and wonder why they have very few friends. Those around them are scared to point this out. They have a Blind Spot and don’t even know it. Maybe in the past when their Blind Spot was brought to their attention they simply discarded it or became angry that someone would actually tell them what they need to work on. 

So how would one try to correct these Blind Spots…DRUM ROLL…answer…an accountability partner!

An accountability partner is a friend who you respect dearly, can trust to be honest with you and will point out your Blind Spot (s). In return, be open and receptive to this friend who has your best interest in mind. They are taking TIME (hint) and a keen interest in your life both spiritually and personally.  They are good listeners and give advice as needed. They will want to check on you either by phone or text message(s). They can be one of the best GUT checks you have in your life. They are ones that you can call to speak on your shortcomings and provide comfort, and confidentially, thus helping you change and grow. Let me say an accountability partner is NOT a counselor. A counselor is someone that you ask questions of and seek answers from. An accountability partner is someone that can ask you questions, and you are able to disclose the truth. I know for most this is a difficult thing to do. You will be allowing someone to get past the surface-level conversations.

Just think this ONE person could change the outcome of your spirituality, marriage, friendships, relationships with your son and daughter and most importantly GENERATIONS to come….WOW what an impact! So kneel and PRAY for God to bring you this friend or maybe that friend is already in your life you just are Blind to Spot.

The choice is yours….. 

Grass…..is it really GREENER on the other side

It always looks better, the other side of the grass that is. But in many cases it isn’t the grass itself; it is the neighbor's wife or husband for the ladies out there, a sports car that your friend just bought, friend’s fancy house, another job.

So many people today are just not happy with what they have or the situation they find themselves in. They think that the examples I gave above are the answers to all their problems or a better life awaits them. What they don't realize is, they already have perfect things in their lives, but they are blinded (hint on my future blog J). Sadly, it will take losing nearly everything in order for them to realize how much they will miss once they cross to the other side. We all take for granted that we have freedom, health, food at every corner, love, family and friendships. The reason we complain and feel inadequate about our current situations is because we are looking for that “perfect situation”. You are not going to find it! We see what others have and either get upset or feel it is unfair that the other person has something. We feel like life OWES us. Life doesn’t OWE us anything.

So what’s the solution you ask? It’s simple…stand firm on the grass you are currently on!

God created all of us with green grass…not greener than someone else. It is what we do with the grass we are currently standing on that matter’s. You need to water, aerate, fertilize, nurture, and mow the grass when it is necessary. See when you work the fields of grass you are currently standing on it will become greener than you ever imagined and soon that grass on the other side will dry up and turn brown and blow away with the wind.

Let me close by saying you need to kneel on that grass and PRAY for God to guide and protect you through the “storms” that you will encounter and you will see that God has provided all you need and the grass you are standing on will be wondrous and flourishing…paradise in your eyes!

The choice is yours…

45 Minutes with an Elite Runner…Dr. Mark Cucuzzella

Sunday was a special day in my running world. I drove to Shepherdstown, West Virginia to meet Dr. Mark Cucuzzella at his store Two Rivers Treads (www.trtreads.com). The drive was magnificent. The rolling hills of West Virginia were all green with old and new homes. I love this part of America and getting away from the city. Here there are no honking cars, drivers crossing four lanes of traffic to make an exit. I drove on a two lane road with the feel of being on a roller coaster as I navigated the winding road.  As I pulled into town and parked I noticed the town had old stores, shops with crafts and the walkways were still made of brick. Mark’s store is not that big, and if you don’t look closely you could walk right past it. The store itself gave you the feel of being in a home, two men greeted me and were most helpful. We started to talk about the different shoes and I gave them a bit of my background before Mark walked in with his two children.

Mark was so down to earth, greeting me with a smile. After a few minutes, we got right down to the heart of our meeting time...running tips. He had just returned from San Diego, so I was just thankful that he took time out of his schedule to see me. We started to chat and he gave me some tips for running better, his style of running and what it had done for him over the years. He had me do some drills right there in the store, even while other customers were browsing....another down to earth aspect of his store. After 45 minutes we had discussed everything I came for and with that he departed with his family. I then looked at several different types of shoes and finished by selecting the Merrell Master Barefoot.  As I departed the store for home I felt humbled that Mark would take time out of his busy schedule to meet with me personally…that is the type of guy he is.

Running Stats for the Month of June...knee recovery!

The month of June was all about recovery. As I blogged last month I developed a little surprise irritation in my right knee. After a doctor’s visit, custom fitting shoe appointment, reading many articles on running and REST, my right knee is much better. I have learned that stretching and strength training are critical in keeping your legs healthy and RUN ready.

With that said, it was time for a change in my running style and shoes. I have been inspired by last year’s USAF Marathon Winner and elite runner Dr. Mark Cucuzzella. He is an advocate for the minimalist shoe and his running style is spot on. Over the last several weeks I have been training and developing this new style of running and I have to say I am feeling better, less pain on my knees and generally do not feel winded after my runs. I am taking it slow here at the beginning to build my endurance. New shoes are in store this week as I move to a transitional shoe then minimalist.  

If you are interested to know about Mark’s philosophy on running etc., I have provided his information below:

Mark Cucuzzella MD FAAFP

Professor West Virginia University School of Medicine

Advocate for Healthier Running

Education Site: http://naturalrunningcenter.com

Store:  http://trtreads.org

Event Series http://www.freedomsrun.org

Blog:  http://runshepherd.com

store/race HQ 304-876-1100

Lastly, here are my numbers for June:

Ran: 1.64 miles

Biked: 11.32 miles

Walked: 16.91 miles

July here we come.......